The Radio London Pictoriaaaal Dictionaaaarrry
"Keep spreadin' the word. And the word is 'Aarrrr!' " – The Pirate Guys

Can you tell a shag from a Jolly Roger?

The crew o' the good ship Galaxy knows as 'ow the ravages o' scurvy and Black Death can bring on that pesky problem of 'Briny Brain' which cracks-up, and in many cases, completely keel-hauls, a buccaneer's thinkin'.

So we 'as 'ere this handy pictorial linguistic guide, which ye can print with yer Caxton Printing Press. Stab one corner with yer #D5 toenail-cleanin' dagger, and yer 'andy guide'll dangle as attractively off yer 'ook as Evil McWeevil when we 'ung 'im by 'is own bagpipes off the yardarm.

Left: Our Leadaaarrrrs. Cap'n Slappy and Ol' Chumbucket, The Pirate Guys wot started it all in Oregon. Talk Like A Pirate Day (before it went International) began in the month of June, but the guys felt Septembaaaaarrr (spelling depends on what part o' the briny ye be on and 'ow much grog you've 'ad) was a much more appropriate month for pirattitude- an' that just 'appens ta be wot they called their book! 'Pirattitude' is available here.

Talk Like A Pirate Day official website

WARNING! Designs may vary. It is strongly recommended that buccaneers memorise the right one for their own ship.
Jolly Roger: The pirates' official flag. It be crucial that ye know yer Jolly Roger from yer shag. Otherwise, ye be findin' yerself in a chest at the bottom of shark-infested briny.
Shags: These be black, slippery seabirds with funny eyes. They are not to be confused with a strange hornpipe which is popular in the Colonies, in the land known as 'The Carolinas'.

Gull: This also be a seabird, which 'as a bit more meat on it than a shag, and is easier to catch. It can be quite tasty in a nice bladderwrack stew.
WARNING! It should never be confused with an albatross. Kill one 'o them and ye'll be cursed for all eternity and will probably strain relationships aboard the ship into the bargain.

Mast and Riggin': The part of the ship ye are liable to come to know intimately. It be a handy structure designed for working the sails which keep yer ship moving across the briny.

And for attaching very big radio transmitters.
Briny: The wet stuff that surrounds yer average ship in bucketloads. Not recommended for drinking for those on a restricted-sodium regime.

Crow's Nest : Usually found at the top of the riggin' but it has bog-all to do with crows.

As illustrated, it is useful for telescope observations, but carrying weaponry such as cutlass and axe can be a bit of a liability during the climb down to the deck.

Lighthouse

Rugged Rocks

Treacherous currents

The Lighthouse (known in some renegade circles as 'The Flasher' – but then so is Dicky 'Donkey Boy' McMackintosh) – warns the helmsman to steer clear o' the above-mentioned hazards.

Wench with Grog:

Considered by most pirates to be a more dangerous combination than that of Rugged Rocks and Treacherous currents.

Warnings to steer clear are invariably ignored, except by flower-lovin' shipmates (see below).

Brig: Another part of the ship ye are liable to come to know intimately. It be a place for lockin' up naughty nauticals. Room service may include the cat-o-nine-tails (right of picture), On the whole, the brig may prove more comfortable than the average pirate accommodation and probably contains considerably less poop than the poop deck. Mirage: a combination of scurvy, grog, and large portions of Tarte au oiseau de mer and bilge rat avec pommes frites, may result in your experiencing strange apparitions. It's more fun than swabbing the poop deck, so just enjoy it.
The tricky task o' Tellin' an island (left) from a Treasure Island (right). This is a little vocabulaaaaarrry test. If ye've paid attention to the piratical words above, ye'll now be able to understand how to do this. A Treasure Island may be spotted from the Crow's Nest at the top of the Riggin' with 'elp from a Telescope. But, do remember that if you see the view on the right, your ship's Mast is WAY too tall. What you are seein' is most likely another Mirage, or else some wag 'as painted 'Booty' inside yer telescope lens. Ponder this carefully before ye mutiny and rush ashore with a shovel, through Treacherous currents and Rugged Rocks, only to find yerself in some cannibal-infested, treasureless swamp.

Identifying Pirates

(left) Pirate Ship (right) Pirate and Parrot

Pirates and their ships come in many shapes and forms. Sometimes their vessels be clearly labelled, as per the LV18 (left), but some of 'em ain't so 'elpful.

Right, is the dastardly Irish renegade, Blunderbus Ben Healy with his faithful parrot, Buckshot. Pirates like Ben 'ave an evil way o' blending in with other folk, before slippin' a Mickey Finn in yer grog and press-gangin' yer into piracy.
Flowers: Tricky one, this. Ye'll never see a flower on the briny. The nearest ye'll get will be tramplin' 'em when diggin' fer booty. But if any non-pressganged shipmate seems to have a particular interest in flowers, combined with a tendency to wash and an unusual fondness for Ugly Bob, the Cabin Boy... that'll give you a clue why that thar shipmate voluntarily spends months on the briny with not a wench in sight.
Nancy Boy Ship: This be what soft folk with no piratitude think of as a sailin' vessel. (However, room service may still include the cat-o-nine-tails.) Ye be very likely to encounter a shipmate who loves flowers aboard one o' these.